Reflections on Coaching Co-Leaders
As the world is currently grappling with the rise and impact of authoritarian leadership, we must remember to celebrate other leadership styles that pursue and emphasize inclusivity, equity, and collaboration. Furthermore, we need to consider the ways we can support and strengthen these styles as part of the larger goal of building for a more just future. One of these styles is co-leadership.
In its simplest form, co-leadership involves two or more people equally sharing power, influence, and responsibility within an organisation. This leadership model, emphasising shared power and collaborative decision-making, aligns closely with feminist principles of equity, mutual respect, and collective empowerment. It challenges co-leaders to transform themselves and the norms surrounding positional power. Devi Leiper O’Malley and Ruby Johnson, authors of Mosaics and Mirrors and former Co-Executive Directors of the FRIDA | The Young Feminist Fund, believe that “co-leadership can offer steps on a pathway towards collective liberation.”
Given this is a distinct leadership style, it benefits from a distinct coaching approach. In 2022, Ruby and Devi gathered a group of different coaches to take part in an experimental program to offer coaching specifically for co-leads committed to collaborative leadership practices.* Naomi Saelens, Steph de Wolfe, Dani Prisacariu, and Amanda Gigler agreed to be a part of this experiment, bringing their coaching expertise, interest in co-leadership, and commitment to feminism, care, social justice, and liberatory practices to the program. Leaders who participated in this experiment were from different parts of the world, representing multiple racial and gender identities, working in both large and small foundations, NGOs, or activist collectives on diverse social justice issues and strategies.
This is the first of two articles that share the coaches’ reflections about co-leadership and the coaching experience. The first looks especially at thoughts and ideas that arose from the experience of coaching pairs of co-leaders. The next article focuses more on somatic practices and a peer-coaching approach.
1. Together or not - coaching leads to clarity
Building a co-leadership practice is essential for developing robust and effective leadership pairs (or trios, or more!). Commitment to co-leadership requires time and effort to deepen. A structured practice helps co-leads navigate the complexities of their roles and enhances their ability to work together seamlessly. Co-leadership is relationship work, and relationships function more meaningfully with active engagement and practice.
Coaches observed that co-leadership relationships grew and matured faster when co-leads came regularly to sessions and prioritized the coaching program. Growth and maturity here mean that both co-leads gained more understanding about how to work better together, but also gained more clarity about when the relationship was not going to work out. While this is not something easily proven, the coaches hypothesise that the parting of ways can be easier and realized more quickly and smoothly with support. Figuring this out earlier rather than later can be more helpful to organisations and all the people involved in the long run.
If co-leads do want to stay together, committing to practising transformative leadership with shared power is the first step. Learning and re-learning to be leaders together, follow suit. Having available support like coaching can help ensure transformation. Naomi reflected that the co-leadership coaching is not just for the individuals, but actually for the ‘partnership(s)’ which are a whole entity of their own that “deserves its own dedicated space and voice.” The voice is actually the articulation and practice of the values the leaders want to embody in their relationship and vibrate throughout the organisation.
2. Get uncomfortable together (with support)
The socio-political context in which co-leadership operates is crucial. In the recent climate of organisational leadership call-outs and discussions of diversity, Steph reminds us of the importance of having systems that facilitate brave and uncomfortable conversations about power, racism, and institutional biases. While it is easy to theorize sharing power, how does one actually feel when sharing power? How do you learn to share decision-making, or be comfortable in the discomfort of having different spots in the limelight when mainstream society prioritizes, teaches, and glorifies the individual leadership model?
This reflection is particularly pertinent in feminist leadership, which fundamentally seeks to dismantle oppressive structures and create spaces where all voices are heard and valued. Steph highlighted that individuals with relative power or privilege related to their identity must develop their capacity for discomfort to engage in meaningful dialogues about these critical issues. Building comfort with discomfort is essential for creating a truly inclusive leadership environment where all voices are heard and valued. A co-leadership coaching practice can help create the ‘brave space’ needed for these conversations.
Often, outside support for relationships is only sought at the last minute or when things are not going well’. This program highlighted the importance of coaching and support throughout good times and bad. Naomi points out:
There is often a misconception that relationships (in whatever shape or form) will just ‘work’ and that, in fact, being in a ‘good’ relationship is always a practice that requires dedicated time and practice from the start. How do we want to shape this relationship? What culture do we want to build together? How do we want to "be" together in both the good and the more challenging times?
These questions are useful for any leader managing and navigating the multiple power dynamics in an institution. While co-leadership is not for everyone, understanding that the success of co-leaders is not just based on ‘magic’ and 'chemistry’ but also labour and commitment.
3. Navigating inevitable and healthy conflict
The coaches’ experiences resonate deeply with perspectives on relational work and conflict management. Co-leads often face several recurring challenges, including differing communication styles, conflicting definitions of leadership, and a lack of role clarity. They likened co-leadership coaching to relationship counselling, emphasising the need to mediate conflicts and build mutual understanding. Because conflict can actually be a healthy and informative part of successful collaborative leadership, there should be ongoing efforts to prepare and navigate for it.
Amanda shared an example:
When accompanying a trio of leaders of a feminist organisation, we were faced with a hierarchy within the trio – that was sort of a microcosm of tensions in the organisation, with the board, in the world. The person at the top of this small triangle was frustrated that the other two didn't step up and step into their leadership; the other two were hesitant to voice their opinions or be more decisive.
Individually, we worked on imposter syndrome, and collectively, I guided conversations where each person expressed to each of the other two co-leads what they recognised in that person, why and how they trusted that person, and what they could be trusted with.
Additionally, I encouraged their one-day "retreat" to be filled with fun activities that were more social and casual in nature – something they were all comfortable with and looking forward to. They wanted to get to know each other better. And their strategy meetings and plans could continue – and did continue - more smoothly (online) after the main retreat, which ended up including a picnic, bike riding, games in the park and conversation.
Many of the coaches, therefore, designed their practice to help co-leads have difficult conversations and share vulnerabilities before it was too late. Techniques such as active listening, structured dialogue, and role clarity exercises foster open communication and mutual support.
4. The role and impact of Boards
For co-leadership to flourish, an organisation's culture must actively support it. In fact, it is an interactive dynamic whereby both the leadership has an impact on culture, and culture has an impact on leadership. What this involves is a willingness to engage in difficult conversations about power, privilege, and systemic inequalities from the governance level to staff and other partners. A commitment to equity and inclusion is non-negotiable. Organisations must create an environment where co-leads feel supported and empowered to share their experiences and challenges openly. This cultural shift is crucial for dismantling patriarchal norms and fostering a genuinely inclusive leadership model.
The coaches discussed the role that organisational Boards play in fostering and supporting co-leadership for the organisation. Many coaches sensed the difficult situation that co-leadership models can present since Boards are charged with hiring and supervising co-lead executives, but they may not know how to oversee the co-lead relationship. This is tricky when the relationship is also a keystone to the success of the overall leadership. The obvious power dynamics create a real vulnerability for co-leads to share issues they are facing directly with the Board, since it may result in a feeling of betrayal or competition. The coaches reaffirmed that having a coaching structure can help alleviate some of this trickiness since the coaching space can be a ‘first stop’ for co-leads to discuss issues they are having with each other before sharing anything with their formal bosses/employers.
The coaches reflected that Boards could benefit from their own training on co-leadership - understanding its principles and how to nurture it (mainly by avoiding situations that could cause conflict and competition). There were instances where the coaches felt they had crucial reflections and advice that they felt would be useful to the Boards, but always remembered that their commitment was first and foremost to the co-leads. So while training is needed, it is best to keep active coaches separate from the governance space to maintain the integrity of the coaching relationship and gain that training from different sources.
Towards a Feminist Future of Leadership
The journey of co-leadership coaching is both challenging and rewarding. It offers a dynamic framework for embracing diverse perspectives, fostering collaboration, and enhancing organisational success. Supporting co-leadership demands significant time and resources, requiring a commitment to continuous learning, reflection, and adaptation. This investment nurtures deep, equitable relationships that challenge traditional power structures.
For co-leads, committing to co-leading and co-learning is essential. By investing in co-leadership coaching, leaders can nurture the full potential of their individual and collective personalities, and create a more inclusive, equitable, and effective workplace.
This article is co-written in collaboration with Aayushi Aggarwal, feminist researcher, activist and writer. We are also grateful to Naomi, Steph, and Amanda for their inputs to this article.
Read the next article in this series that shares lessons about embodied leadership, gained through peer-coaching with young feminists practicing different forms co-leadership.
*This experimental program is continuing in different ways, and seeking to focus more co-leaders in the Majority World. As a small program, we can only support a few pairs at a time but try to organize activities open to a larger community from time to time.
If you want to stay updated on these activities, it’s best to follow us on instagram @think.closer
Please feel free to reach out to us on email: info@closerthanyouthink.co
